today i decided that death must feel like the desert. had one of these days again. these days when all the factors amount up to sumat really bad. not enough sleep plus heat plus clouds equals headache, dizziness and feeling sick all day. and i had weird pressure on both my ears all day. felt like i was gonna dry out. and at the same time i felt as if i was sweating under my skin. and this in a time when i can’t get my spirits up to start with, this feels like dying. a little bit, at least. every day a little death.. it feels like running around in the dark and not finding the switch to turn the light on. i know it has to be there, somewhere, i remember the light, however faintly, but i do remember. every now and again someone strikes a match, but the room i’m in is too big to find anything by that tiny light. but it helps me remember what it looks like. and its like a dream i cant wake out of. and believe me, it’s not the nicest dream in the world. like running around with no purpose at all. i had a purpose. at least i think i did. where has all my light gone?